To My Failures
And How I Thank Them
It’s taken me a while to get here. Here as in physically, metaphorically, spiritually, and any other -ally you can think of. But I’m here, and I’m damn proud of it. Let’s put myself on blast and talk about some of my failures.
Athlete
Let’s be real, this one was never going anywhere. Averaging 2.6 points per game in basketball and batting .286 in baseball in high school just won’t cut it. Breaking 90 in golf last year isn’t gonna get me on the PGA tour (hmu LIV). The “Professional Throwing Tissues In The Garbage League” isn’t quite profitable yet.
But I learned discipline. I learned how to work with a team. I can also lift heavy shit, which somehow became a requirement for this career path.
Blogger
I struggle to call this a failure. This was my claim to fame from 2017-2019. I couldn’t go to a bar without someone coming up to me asking when the next post is dropping. It was a blast. I got to flex my creative muscles and I always had the most fun iPhone note sheet around. I still get requests to bring it back. I keep the URL active because maybe it will come beckoning back to me. Long live jbfindsjbfunny.com
Look at me now! Blogging again. Funny how things work out.
Influencer
Ooooh Rizzle. Rizzle is a now-defunct app that was supposed to be the next TikTok. Spoiler alert: it didn’t become the next TikTok. The idea was short clips in a video series. For example, my season 1 was all about cooking with leftovers, aptly called “Tomorrow’s Lunch.” In the first part of each mini-series, I’d go to a NYC restaurant and review the food. In my first episode, I went to Minetta Tavern and feasted on burger, lobster risotto, creamy mashed potatoes, bone marrow, mushrooms, etc. In part 2, I’d cook with the leftovers. I transformed the leftovers into lobster eggs benedict with a side of potato pancakes, seared in a bone marrow butter. Part 3, I’d review the re-creation. All in all, I got paid real dollars to eat real food. Part of my original vision was to find a way to eat in NYC for free. This was the closest I got.
At least I didn’t fail myself on this one. The app shut down shortly after I hit 50k followers and 1M views. I have the screenshot to prove it. Remnants of the account can be found floating around the interwebs.
I am so grateful for the self-taught skills from this venture. Talking in front of a camera. Video editing. Flexing my food brain. All things I carry on my toolbelt.
Copywriter
This was short-lived and the one I made the least progress on. The story is that the blog was COOKING and I wanted to find a way to monetize further. So I signed up for a “Humor Writing” class through the Gotham Writers Workshop. 10 classes and some soul-searching, I applied to a few copywriting jobs. I never got any of them, got discouraged, and abandoned ship.
Well, you can be the judge if those classes helped me or not.
Client Finance
This part is the toughest for me to write because I don’t want to consider it a failure. I worked in client finance at three different agencies for a total of 8 years, growing from an analyst to an associate director. I thought I was going to keep moving up the chain and do it for the rest of my working career.
Thus came the realization.
I was reading (listening to) “Unreasonable Hospitality” by Will Guidara. If you haven’t read it before, it’s a MUST READ. But there was one segment where Will talks about purpose in your work. That morning on 1/12/24, I wrote in my iPhone notes “Why does your work matter? Who can we positively impact?”
I spent every day thinking about that question. I tried using co-workers as my purpose. Using the client as my purpose. Using my salary as my purpose. Using anything I could fathom as my purpose. After months of indecision, I couldn’t muster up any more purposes. I was left purpose-less, you could say.
I failed because lack of purpose.
But I now have something that I’m proud of. I have something that brings a smile to people’s faces. I have the ability to interact with some of the most incredible strangers on the planet.
I now have purpose.
I don’t look back negatively on the Client Finance run I had. There’s no animosity. There’s no regret.
Do I wish I found a purpose earlier? Abso-fucking-lutely. But ya know what? My budget trackers are ELITE. I can communicate clearly with anyone, even if I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. I can make the mundane exciting. I know what it takes to bring people together.
Failure
Just because I’ve failed does not mean I’m a failure. I am so much greater than my failures. I’m a success because I’ve failed. I’m so grateful I’ve had the chance to fail.
I look forward to failing more.
